


As We Collide

by Waltzing



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Inspired by Music, Jam, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 08:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1260523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waltzing/pseuds/Waltzing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt: "You know what would be cute? A Tim/Jay fic inspired by the song "Supernatural" by Daughtry! Lots of mutual angst followed by sweetness and consoling and maybe a first kiss would be wonderful!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	As We Collide

**Author's Note:**

> Shameless, slightly OOC fluff written for a [song-based prompt](http://mh-kink.livejournal.com/557.html?thread=156717#t156717) on the Livejournal community, May 2013. The song - 'Supernatural' by Daughtry - can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9v8Y_qAi29c

Sometimes, on nights when he can't sleep, Tim thinks about all the decisions he made that led him to where he is now: alone in a dingy motel room that smells of stale cigarette smoke and damp. He wonders what he could have done differently that would have ended up with him having some semblance of a normal life, instead of one filled with childhood hallucinations-come-to-life and psychopathic former college friends.  
  
He almost laughs to himself at that. He has always had a dark sense of humor, but the thought of trying to explain to anyone else (well anyone besides Jay) what happened in the last few months that led to him skipping town with another guy is almost funny. Almost. He would sound like the world's most delusional nutcase and no doubt be committed to a psychiatric hospital again pronto. _At least it wouldn't be the same hospital_ , he thinks, wryly. _That one burned down a long time ago._  
  
Tim turns onto his side. Often, in his darker moments, he convinces himself that he was lost from the start: the kid who sees things, the kid who won't stop screaming. What chance did he have, when he'd been stalked from childhood? Whatever he decided, he couldn't escape that.  
  
He sighs, sits up in bed. Sleep isn't coming - well, if it is, he isn't patient enough to wait for it. He checks the alarm clock. 3:43 a.m. He feels like he is the only person awake in the world. He considers going outside for a smoke but he's cold enough as it is (it's May and warm enough for most, but he is always cold these days.)  
  
Jay is in the room next door and a million miles away.  
  
Despite the fact they have spent the last month each other's company, Tim can't help but feel alone. He trusts Jay more than, well, _anyone_ these days, and he's sure it is reciprocated. Hell, they wouldn't have run away together if they didn't trust each other. And yet, sometimes Tim feels like Jay is holding back. On trust, or friendship, or something else. It would make sense if he was: all of Jay's friends have either disappeared or turned psycho. He probably just doesn't want to get too attached to Tim in case he goes the same way...  
  
Tim wishes he could talk to Jay about something other than whose turn it is to get groceries or whether he needs to fill up his car. He knows Jay has nightmares - and he is apparently happy enough to talk about them on Twitter, but when it comes to Tim, he just clams up. Tim wishes he wouldn't do that. If there is one person who could understand, it would be him, he thinks. But Jay doesn't seem to get that.  
  
He checks his phone. No missed calls. No new messages. He checks the twitter feed. Jay updated it a day or so ago to reassure his followers that he and Tim are still "here". He has been careful not to say any more than is needed about their location, for which Tim is grateful.  
  
Speak of the devil: one new tweet, 20 minutes ago. Jay might still be awake.  
  
"@marblehornets: Another Alex nightmare. He was pointing a gun at me and Jessica like before, shouting. This time no one came and he pulled the trigger."  
  
Tim's breath caught in his throat. He could turn off his phone, get back under the covers, attempt sleep. Pretend he hadn't seen the tweet. But even as he thinks that, he's pulling on his jeans, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys. He is outside and in front of Jay's door before he has a chance to reconsider. But as he raises his hand to knock, he hesitates. Is this really a good idea?

*

Jay wakes up with Tim's name on his lips and feels immediately embarrassed, even though he is alone in his room. The dream had been so vivid, which was strange as that part of his memory had been wiped along with the rest of those seven lost months: he has no real-world recollection of Alex leading him and Jessica deeper into Rosswood, no memory of the gun pointed at them both, of the anger and despair in Alex's voice. Everything in his dream, he only knew about from the tape, and he knew that Tim had been the one to save them.  
  
But not in his dream. In his dream, Tim hadn't appeared this time, masked or otherwise, and Alex had pulled the trigger. Jessica had fallen down beside him, he had heard rather than felt the second bullet, then blackness and he had woken up. It had felt so real. He realises he is shaking.  
  
When he was a little kid, some older boy in the playground told him that when you died in your dreams, you died in real life too. He remembered being scared of his dreams for a couple of nights before his mom reassured him and he forgot all about it. Life was so much simpler when you were a kid. _Unless you were Tim_ , he thinks, feeling guilty.  
  
Jay has died so many times in his dreams now, he has lost count. He sits up and runs his fingers through his hair, distractedly. He always feels shaken, every single time. He really wishes he could confide in someone: about the dreams, the increasing paranoia that Alex is near, the fact that sometimes he feels like he's going batshit crazy - talking about it would be enough, he thinks.  
  
_I want to talk to Tim_ , he thinks. And yet he can't bring himself to. A few bad dreams? Tim lived this for _years_. He still can't shake the image from his head, Tim in the abandoned hospital, head in his hands, on the verge of tears. _He was getting better until you showed up in his life_ , he tells himself. He isn't sure he's ever even seen Tim properly smile since he found him again.  
  
He turns on the bedside light, takes out his phone and tweets about the nightmare. Sure, he doesn't know any of his Twitter followers personally, but aside from helping him decipher the totheark codes, they've also sent him the occasional sympathy tweet when he has written about his nightmares before. It's a kind of reassurance.  
  
Once he's done, he turns off the light and tries to get back to sleep, but thoughts swirl round his head and 15 minutes later he is still wide awake, thinking. Mostly about Tim, he admits to himself. Tim, and how he is still around, even after Jay wrecked his life all over again. Tim, and how he never questioned them skipping town together, just took more shifts at work to save up money in the weeks before they hit the road. How he tried to protect him from Alex before Jay even fully knew what Alex was capable of. How he saved both his and Jessica's lives.

Although he brought Alex - and worse - back into his life (for which Jay will never forgive himself), there is a part of him that is happy he found Tim again. It feels like it was meant to be somehow, that every lead he followed and every clue he was given wasn't just to solve the mystery of what happened to Alex, but also to lead him to Tim. He feels safer with him around. It's such a relief, to be able to trust someone, to rely on someone else for a change. After years alone, he still hasn't fully gotten used to it.  
  
Right now, though. Right now he just feels shaken. The nightmare hit him harder than he'd like to admit and he still feels a kind of shaky restlessness. Tim sometimes tries to get him to talk about them, but he usually brushes him off, not wanting to burden Tim any more than he already has with all the weirdness going on. It's not like the nightmares are real (or even as bad as some of the waking stuff that has happened to the two of them). Even so, he has noticed Tim sometimes seems a little confused, maybe even a little hurt by his refusal to talk to him about them.  
  
He wonders if Tim is awake right now: he has mentioned his insomnia a few times, and more than once he has awoken to find text messages sent at three or four a.m. asking him what groceries they need or what he wants for breakfast. He checks his phone. Nothing. _Maybe he won't be angry if I wake him up. I just need to see him._  
  
Before he has fully thought it through, he is pulling on his jeans and shirt and throwing a jacket over his shoulders. Heart racing, he opens the door to his room... to find Tim on the other side of it, his arm raised as if he was just about to knock. He nearly jumps out of his skin. As does Tim, apparently.  
  
"..Hey," he says, slightly shakily, once he has recovered, his heart practically beating out of his chest.  
  
"Hey yourself," Tim says weakly.  
  
He and Tim both just stand there for a moment, looking at each other, until Tim breaks the awkward silence.  
  
"I saw you had another nightmare. Can I come in?"

*

Jay looks awful - startlingly pale, and, is he _trembling_? Surely that can't just be from their unexpected near-collision at his door. The nightmare must have hit him hard.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine, fine," Jay says. _Liar_. He stares at Tim confusedly, so Tim feels the urge to explain himself.  
  
"I just wanted to check you were okay. I can go if you want-"  
  
"Stay," Jay cuts him off. "I... want you to stay."  
  
"Sure". Tim shrugs. "Where were you going, anyway?"  
  
"Hmm?" Jay looks up at him, confused.  
  
"Just now. When I met you at your door. You have your jacket on." He looks down at Jay's feet. "And your shoes."  
  
Jay colors slightly. "I... was coming to see you."  
  
Tim feels strangely pleased at that admission. "Because of the nightmare?" he asks, softly.  
  
Jay nods. "Guess you were already awake, huh?"  
  
"Insomnia strikes again." Tim rolls his eyes. "I saw your tweet, in case you were wondering how I knew. I'm not... _psychic_ or anything."  
  
That gets small smile from Jay.  
  
"So," Tim says. "Anything you wanna talk about?"  
  
*  
  
They are sitting on Jay's bed, side by side, and Jay, against his better judgment, is pouring his heart out.  
  
"- and sometimes it makes me feel like I'm going totally _insane_ , like I don't even know what's real any more and what's just my mind playing tricks on me." Jay sucks in a shuddering breath. "It's almost worse than when we were just up against Alex, because at least then I was so sure that he was the crazy one and not me."  
  
Tim's arm had migrated to around Jay's shoulders some time during his long monologue. It's a comforting, almost protective weight around him for which he is grateful.  
  
Jay glances at Tim out of the corner of his eyes. Tim is looking down at his knees as if trying to find the right words. Just as Jay is beginning to think he had said too much, Tim says, "I wish you'd told me all this before, instead of keeping it all to yourself."  
  
"I know." Jay sighs. "I just didn't want to worry you. I mean, I feel bad enough about dragging you back into all this again anyway, and you've had far worse things happen to you..." Jay realises he is making excuses. "I guess I just didn't want to, I don't know, be a _burden_ on you or something."  
  
Tim shakes his head at that, looking a little exasperated. "First of all, you need to stop thinking about me all the time -"  
  
"But I can't stop!" Jay blurts out, without thinking.  
  
"- and secondly, you need to stop feeling guilty for..." Tim's eyes widens as he takes in what Jay just said. "Uh, what?"  
  
Jay immediately feels his face grow hot. He looks away, blushing furiously. "Nothing," he says, awkwardly and starts to move off the bed, away from Tim.  
  
"Where are you going?" Tim asks.  
  
Options run through Jay's head as he stands up. _Bathroom. Outside. Away._ He just wants to leave, to avoid Tim's intense stare. He's so tired, he isn't sure he can even lie convincingly. "I don't know," he says quietly. He covers his face with his hands.  
  
Next thing he knows, Tim is in front of him. "Hey," he says gently. "We, uh, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I just, I guess I just want you to know that you can talk to me. About _anything_. Uh, if you want to. Okay?"  
  
Jay lowers his hands, nods. Tim continues, "So, I guess I'll go back to my room now?"  
  
"Okay," Jay agrees, feeling lonely already. Tim walks to the door. Before he opens it, he stops and turns to Jay.  
  
"And, for the record? I can't stop thinking about you either." He gives Jay a pained look and turns to let himself out.  
  
Jay is by Tim's side before he can even fully open the door. "Tim?" He says, quietly. Tim looks up at him, eyes dark and unreadable, then looks away, nervous. So Jay brings his hands up to Tim's shoulders and softly kisses him on the lips. When he pulls back, Tim is looking awed. It makes Jay's heart flutter a little, so he kisses him again, for longer. This time, after he pulls away, he reaches behind Tim and shuts the half-open door.  
  
"For the record," Jay says to him, "I still want you to stay."  
  
Tim smiles.


End file.
